Frankie found us

Frankie started talking a couple weeks ago about how he felt at the babies home. I wondered if he ever really would, being as he was barely two years old when he came out and had “only” been there nine months. He told me, in his stammering little baby voice, trying to find the words, “I was sitting there at the babies home and I was sad. Then I found mom and I found Ella.” Sniff. He found us, not the other way around, in his little baby brain!

Sadness and them finding me seems to be the consistent theme in both of Ella and Frankie’s memories. Isn’t that sad? They were both just babies!

Last week we went back to Nsambya Babies Home with Sarah, to turn in her application and to be her moral support as she starts the adoption/fostering process of one of the little children there. This is so good for both of my children to be a part of.

For our family adoption and babies homes are the norm and all of those who give birth are just odd (our neighbors are expecting another baby in September so L sort of knows the basics of all that but still.... it’s just weird to her ;)! Isn’t that funny? Ella sent me to work the other day with “files” to get signed AND STAMPED by our friend Prossy, so that she could give them to the “officer” (Probation Officer) and adopt her baby doll, Nana : -). We know where babies are supposed to come from!

Sarah’s upcoming adoption has stirred up a lot of feelings in little Frankie however and the week before we went he was super whiny/crying in the mornings with Sarah, and then SUPER snuggly with me after I got home. To the point where he didn’t want to do anything but sit on my lap, poor boy. The day after we went with Sarah to the babies home however, he was just fine and back to his normal self. After we had sat and chatted, looked at files and were ready to go, Frankie practically RAN out down the hall and out the door!

When Ella came home, at three years old, I did many, many suggested attachment activities with her. I slept with her, hand fed her and “bottle fed” her with a sippy cup and soft Nuby nipple, just to name a few. She was READY for it and really enjoyed being one very big baby for the first 6+ months (I thought my poor back would break from hefting her 32+ pounds around everywhere!). After three years without a mom, she was ready for one! Frankie has been a different story, even though he was a whole year younger. He was left “momless” at around 14 months and his abandonment hurt him far deeper. He also hasn’t had as much intensive one on one attention and work done with him and he is just a totally different ball of wax personality wise. He JUST, as of last week, started being bottle fed with a sippy cup and loving it. I tried him shortly after he came home but he was just too uncomfortable with it. Weird since from day one he’s been such a snuggly fella but nope, the bottle feeding was just too intimate for the poor little guy. All this to say, every kid is different and don’t give up on attachment techniques, even if your kid doesn’t respond immediately! Don’t assume that something is wrong with you or your child. Some kids just take time - every one is different!