Some thoughts on international adoption from Uganda

I watch the adoption world swirling around me. It is great that the Western world, especially the U.S, has caught the vision of adoption. Adoption is a WONDERFUL and BEAUTIFUL and BIBLICAL thing and has blessed the lives of my entire family immensely. I only pray that this vision will wake up in the Ugandan church as well.

But I also see some disturbing trends. Like any good thing (money, sex, marriage, you name it) Satan can twist it into something that’s not so great. And I’m seeing that happening too. And it makes me want to run or hide my head in the sand.

I see how very, very good hearted Christians in the U.S have unintentionally begun to aid in the exploitation of Ugandans (not just the children by the way, but entire families) with their compassion and willingness to adopt any little Ugandan that “someone”, be it an orphanage director, social worker, lawyer, or adoption facilitator, puts before them as an adoptable child in need. Not only are the children being exploited but often times their families as well.

A lot of things like this happen simply because of ignorance. If you are planning on adopting from Uganda, please educate yourself first! Don’t take ANYTHING at face value. Really pick apart the files you are given and QUESTION and FOLLOW UP YOURSELF if you have to on your prospective child’s case. I am shocked and sickened at how with only just a few simple PHONE CALLS, Karen has been able to reunify previously “adoptable” children back with their LOVING families. The same is true for this couple of YOUNG girls working in Jinja. These folks aren’t professionals, nor are they old hands at living in the country – they are people just like you and me! And what a beautiful thing it is to see families reunited again! Really, could anything be better? When you encounter road blocks in the adoption process, don’t automatically assume they are “Satan’s attacks.” Maybe they are the Lord’s leading and working instead?

I will admit to guilt in this area. I too was a bit naïve and irresponsible in assuming that my children’s cases had been adequately investigated, and took the babies homes word for it that my kids relatives were non traceable. With one child in particular, now I wonder… After our adoptions are legally completed I will fearfully try to look into the one child’s case a bit more and perhaps trace their family if at all possible. I would just be SICK knowing that I put my child through the unnecessary trauma of international adoption if it wasn’t 100% needed, but on the other hand I would LOVE for my child to know more about their roots and where they came from.

Ugandans, educate yourselves! Think twice before you send off a child for international adoption. Do everything you can to keep that kid in Uganda, in a family here. Think past the “wealth” you will be sending this child to and instead think about life as the racial odd ball who has to relearn an entirely new culture and language and lose almost all of their ties with Uganda. Don’t try to make your American friends happy by providing them with a child until you have exhausted all other options for that kid.

I read somewhere where a blogger was so very touched to visit an orphanage and to see the children praying for “forever families in America.” Not only did my heart break, but I got physically nauseous as well. Situations like this make me want to RUN. Completely disassociate from international adoption. Do people really think that a home in the U.S would be better for Ugandan children than a home right here in their own country, where everyone else looks like them, sounds like them, smells like them, and shares a culture with them? Obviously these poor children were directly or indirectly being told that! Adoption is hard enough on kids without the added factor of language and culture change thrown at them! Add race and you’ve handed your kid a LOT to deal with. And really, isn’t life in Uganda just as intrinsically worthy and valuable as life in the United States?

My excitement over Americans adopting from Uganda is waning. I mean, who wouldn’t want to adopt a Ugandan child? I am turning my focus more on domestic adoption here in Uganda and on reunifying children with their families so that adoption is not necessary in the first place. Not to say that I’m throwing the baby out with the bath water – I do still believe that there is a place for international adoption in Uganda. Only the adoptive parent must take the responsibility themselves as to having it done ethically – don’t rely on the orphanage, the lawyer, the high court, the U.S embassy, the probation officer, a social worker, or anyone else to make sure that your child has a legitimate need for you to adopt them. I wish that I had.

So my thoughts on international adoption from Uganda? Do it CAREFULLY. Don’t let your emotions take a hold. Or all the “orphan hype” that is out there. Don’t take anything at face value. Question everyone that you deal with. Have the case reopened if you have to. Try to find out if everything really was done (and done thoroughly!) to try to trace the family. Was the proper follow up really done? If not, then maybe God has chosen YOU to be a part in reuniting this child with their family, even if it’s not yours like you had thought. What could be better for a child than that? If you’re adequately satisfied that EVERYTHING possible has been done to answer these questions yourself, then go for it! It's too easy to adopt a trafficked child.

March Milestones

March came and went, the large majority of the time catching me without a laptop on which to blog with!But here's a wee bit of a synopsis of the milestones in our family that occurred in March.

First Milestone - March 2nd work began on our house! The story of this land purchase and house building is simply mind boggling to me. It just doesn't happen this way here (or anywhere really!)! I will never doubt that it was God's will for us to buy land and have a house built on it simply because with very little effort on my part, it's happening! Richard, my friend who found the land and negotiated it's purchase (the owner never even saw me ONCE!), still just shakes his head at the speed and smoothness of it all. And to find a contractor who is not only an American but who is affordable? Unheard of! Especially in Christian circles, many people think that I need to get married. To me the obvious and direct ways that God provides for me and the kids is a no brainer that I do not. I mean, what poor dude could compete with God?! It would be a totally unfair act to follow.

Second Milestone - The beginning of March we attended a birthday party for our friend, Abi, who was turning 4 years old. And Frankie had a GREAT TRAUMA FREE TIME! There were seven kids altogether - three kids who mine knew but not well, and Frankie interacted with all of them in a normal way. The two little tricycles were a big draw to all the little boys and Frankie exhibited NORMAL little boy behavior making sure he got his turn with them. No shutting down, no getting overly angry, no pouting, but normal assertive efforts to make sure that he got his turn. Yeah Frankie! Post traumatic crap usually rears it's ugly head after an event like this and even if Frank's had a blast, all he can usually remember are the little "bad" things that happened - like his hat breaking, another kid getting the tricycle or pushing him, etc. But NOT THIS TIME!!! His little brain managed to retain ALL THE GOOD THINGS about the party!!! Amazing!! Proof that little injured traumatised brains DO heal! So when ever he has a "brain relapse" day I hold that image of him at the party in my head and it gives me hope. Thank you Lord for the continued healing of Frank's brain.

Third Milestone - March 10th was Ella's three year anniversary of coming home. Yep, the magical three years when Uganda can complete her adoption! We are planning to wait until November however to see if we can get the kids both done together, hoping that they'll make an exception for Frankie at his two year mark. I'd like to be able to get their US immigration business done together when we're back on furlough next year.

To be honest, I never thought that I could love or enjoy any person as much as I have Ella. She is a JOY. Truly an inspiring little person who has helped teach me to love, forgive and MOVE ON from crap that has happened in the past, simply by her inspiring example. She is like an adoption dream story - three years after coming home, even after living in an orphanage for three stinkin' years, she is a perfectly adjusted little person and appears not to have ANY emotional issues. Not only does she adore and appreciate her family but she truly seems to be free from any "adoption issues" or trauma from her past. It has been AMAZING to watch the Lord take a broken, scared, moody little three year old and transform them into THIS - what we have today. I have NO idea why God chose to bless ME with this child but I am SO GLAD and THANKFUL that He did!

Fourth Milestone - I turned the big 3-0 this month. Wow! What a last 10 years it has been - phew. I NEVER EVER imagined or dreamed that I would be where I'm at now - the mother of TWO children and one SIX YEARS OLD! How'd that happen?! Not to mention owning property and having a house built - in Uganda no less!

I've been through and learned a lot in the last 10 years- working my butt off through college (19 credits a semester, a 100 mile commute to school, two part time jobs and a work study), attending horribly intensive summer school for three summers(linguistics - blah!), moving to Uganda with stars in my naive little eyes and ready to give my whole entire heart and soul to Bible Translation (sorta missed the point, huh?!), getting slapped and stomped down a LOT, learning to get back up, learning to fight tooth and nail (against other "missionaries". Hmmm....) for what is right, having an entire world and world view opened up to me, being a minority ALL THE STINKIN' TIME, becoming a parent - not once but TWICE- to children who already had issues to deal with, and basically just growing up! Geesh, no WONDER I look so old and worn out...

The most important thing that I learned these last 10 years is that if you know God is telling you to do something, you just need to OBEY HIM and step out and do it. NO MATTER WHAT. Obey first and trust Him later if you have to. Work your butt off if you have to. You just have to know that He DOES hold to His promises, even though it's hard and it may seem like you're floundering. And usually He works things out totally differently than anything you've ever dreamed about!

Exhausting productive day!

Whew, what a day. Started out the morning by dropping the car off to be serviced in the POURING rain and taking a boda to work. Of course when it’s raining like that there are no boda’s to be found and you end up walking quite a ways to find one (through the mud of course!). By the time I got to work I was SOAKED.

Being the week before Christmas work was SLOW and boring. Lot’s of people in the office have already started taking their Christmas leaves and no one is really thinking about work anymore. Including me : ) But, due to this slowness, I was able to Skype with my sister and mom for quite a while – FUN!

Then I got “The Call” – the call that I’ve been waiting for! Frankie’s PASSPORT IS DONE! Hooray, hooray, hooray for our lawyer. I dropped Frankie’s few papers off last Thursday and here he has it not even a week later! INCREDIBLE. SO different than the miserable and torturous experience we had getting Ella’s. Getting signatures from every Tom, Dick and Harry in Entebbe and getting a letter from a certain cantankerous government minister. This dude (who caused me HELL) has since resigned (thanks be to God!) so we didn’t have to haul our sorry butts up to see him – WHEW.

Luckily our car was done in time for me to go get it (thankfully the rain had stopped!), I ran home to get my ATM card in order to withdraw money to pay the lawyer for the passport and land title stuff, then off to the bank. To make a long (and terribly frustrating!) story short, an HOUR later I had the needed cash in hand, all due to my own incompetence and stupidity. I hate that! We needed to be in Kampala at 4:30pm so we needed to leave here by 3:30pm at least. Traffic is a bit more crazy this Christmas week. I got back home at 3:30pm and still had to load up the kids and get gas (was running around on an empty tank). Even though I’ve lived here for almost six years now, I HATE being late for appointments. And we’d definitely be late for this one but I really wanted to get the passport and lawyer fees paid today so I didn’t have to go in later this week (when traffic would be REALLY crazy!).

We got to immigration at a little after 5pm which wasn’t too bad. Traffic was bad but at least it kept moving. We then waited over an hour for the passport to be finished but that wasn’t too bad either. I was AMAZED at the reception by various people that we got. I think that people’s perceptions of expat adoptive parents is changing. My kids got SO many smiles and friendly greetings from people and one woman even complimented Ella on her hair saying, “Your Mommy made your hair really nice.” Usually, no matter how nice your kids hair looks, women will always find something wrong with it. I was shocked at the compliment! Then to my disbelief one of the immigration officers came over to tell me how much he appreciated me “doing what you’ve done”. I could honestly reply at how much we really appreciated immigration for helping us get the kids their passports. After all, they are “their” Ugandan children (and their responsibility!) and it’s nice to see the government and individuals helping their own Ugandan citizens in this way. It’s nice when people don’t just say things, but do the right thing as well. In the not so distant past the old feeling was, “Why are you taking ‘our’ children?” Um, because you don’t want them and are happy to let them languish in western funded institutions? I’m all about people taking responsibility and doing the right thing! And I'm glad to see immigration doing that and making it so much easier this time around.

Traffic had thinned a bit by the time we were done and we managed to get home at around 7:30pm. I made a quick dinner (I would be lost without groundnut sauce and rice! Fast and easy!) while the kids bathed ALL ON THEIR OWN. Even Frankie! He even put his pajamas on the right way all by himself! After feeding them and putting Frankie to bed I then had to take out Ella’s hair so that she can go to the salon tomorrow. Not exactly something I wanted to be doing at 8:30pm but hey. My poor doggies didn’t get fed until after 9pm – a good three hours after their usual feeding time! Fortunately they were calm and submissive and it didn’t seem to bother them. What a well balanced pack!

So, while tired, I’m feeling that I accomplished a LOT today. Not only getting the car serviced but getting Frankie’s passport AND surviving the trip to Kampala safely! God is good, even when I’m exhausted!

Adoptive families get together!

Over the weekend our family attended our first ever Families For Children coffee morning. It was great meeting with other adoptive parents and children, as well as hearing about some upcoming probable changes in Uganda adoption laws. Very encouraging! Much more adoption friendly for those of us who live in Uganda (which includes Ugandans). We didn’t see any kids that we knew but one adoptive mother did recognize Frankie! There were quite a few children there adopted from Nsambya Babies Home.

Since I avoid Kampala like the plague and we rarely go there, we made the most of it and went out to eat at Spurs, which serves some really good American food. Our own dear little Frank’s chowed down on his first hamburger while his Aunt Prossy polished off her second ever cheeseburger. The kids jumped on the trampolines and then Frankie got his face painted!

The paint had worn off a bit here but he had a little pink cat nose and whiskers and was supposed to look like a tiger. Here he pretty much just looks like an Indian on the warpath! He enjoyed roaring the entire way home.

We also went to Game, which Ella called Walmart the entire time. She is going through a really enthusiastic stage and she rode in the shopping cart whooping down the isles, “WooHOOOOOO!” and didn’t quit until we got home - an hour drive later! The day this child ever consumes alcohol should be an interesting one ... ;-)

Frankie has taken to lifting weights. I want him big and strong so that he can start carrying and lifting heavy stuff for me ;)

It’s been really hot lately (because I bought the kids long pants a week ago!) and since the swimming pool is STILL being renovated (since October!) and our water pressure is crap so we can’t use a sprinkler, the kids get in their swimsuits on the trampoline and I throw buckets of water on them. When I get sick of fetching and carrying endless buckets of water I just give them some rags and a bucket of soapy water and they have a blast scrubbing the trampoline.

I’m going to enjoy these easily occupied preschool moments while I can!

Ella takes it all very seriously

Frankie washing the tramp in his white underwear. After dining at beach restaurants watching people frolic in the Lake, I have come to the firm conclusion that no man should wear white, wet briefs, - especially a black one! To do so in front of me and Prossy is to reap a lot of ridicule, sneers and condescending (if not funny) remarks. Frankie will learn all of that in the future. But for now I’m letting him innocently wash his trampoline in his white briefs.

Ms Dave’s been doing her share of hopping around and GROWING

Watching a movie while seated on a pillow next to her dog, absently rubbing her dog’s tummy....

Miracles happen!!!!

I witnessed a miracle yesterday. I saw a skinny, bald, wheezing, sick little girl with a U.S VISA in her passport, which stated that she was the “Adopted child of ____________”, headed for the airport!!!!

I saw a little girl who was attaching awesomely with her committed mother and who has a family who will give her time, love and commitment, not to mention good food and medical care! And, while wheezing away like a wind broke horse, she really did seem to be content whilst slowly munching away on her potatoes.

CONGRATULATIONS AMY AND COURT!

This is a huge miracle considering the latest turn of events on February 3rd concerning the U.S denying children like little Sarah visas. Praise the Lord for the Ugandan judge who cared enough about Sarah’s well being to grant Amy and Court her full and final adoption so that the U.S would issue her a visa home.

Sadly, the visa situation here in Uganda still does not look good (which makes Sarah’s departure even more miraculous!). This is NOT an issue that Ugandans need to solve – WE AMERICANS need to! Ugandan lawyers and child advocates are busy working away but the Ugandan side of things is really not the issue. It’s the Americans. THEY should be the ones working away and trying to sort things out but they’re not (to my knowledge anyways). This is NOT a Ugandan problem, it’s an American one!

Please, contact your congressmen (and anyone else who has some clout!) about this situation and ask them to put pressure on the Consular and Vice Consular to resolve this issue QUICKLY (you can refer to my previous letter if you need to).

First priority should be the American families already here in Uganda with Legal Guardianship of their children, who need to get out of here WITH their kids.

Second should be permanently resolving this issue so that the doors will be open to other Ugandan children to be adopted in the States in the NEAR future (like, this year!). Sadly, Ugandan orphans are not high on anyone’s list of priorities.

When I start getting discouraged and thinking about all the kids who are being effected by this, I can think of little wheezing Sarah and how God got her home! Truly a miracle! And I pray that there will be more miracles happening in the U.S embassy regarding these IR-4 visas.

I'm not sold! My repsonse to the Vice Consular

Following is my response to the US Vice Consular’s letter concerning the her reasons for the denial of IR-4 immigration visa’s to Ugandan children under the Legal Guardianships of American parents. I for one do not accept her explanation, which I posted in my previous post.

To give you a bit of background, Ugandan law states that non Ugandan citizens must foster a Ugandan child for 36 months in Uganda before the Ugandan Government will finalize the adoption. Obviously this rules out international adoption to anyone who does not live in Uganda. There is a “loop hole” in the Ugandan law however which does allow Americans not residing in Uganda to adopt. The U.S requires that an American parent obtain Legal Guardianship (or Legal Custody) of the child in order for the child to travel to the U.S on a IR-4 immigrant or tourist visa. Judges give American parents living in the U.S Legal Guardianship of a Ugandan child and the permission for them to take the child out of the country. The unwritten understanding and expectation is that the child will then be adopted in the U.S. Because of Ugandan judges taking advantage of this “loop hole” well over 100 orphaned Ugandan children have found American homes in the last decade. There is nothing illegal about this, nor does this in any way fall under child trafficking!

As a Montanan who has been residing in Uganda for five years now and who has Legal Guardianship of two Ugandan children, I am extremely dissatisfied with the explanation by the US Vice Consular concerning the denial of IR-4 Immigrant visa’s to Ugandan children under the Legal Guardianship of American parents.

First of all, the denials were issued with no warning what-so-ever to American citizens (resident in the U.S), already in Uganda and who had already gained Legal Guardianship of their children, through Ugandan High Court. There was no forewarning prior to February 3^rd about the possibility of this decision and five American families are now left in limbo in Uganda, Legal Guardians of their Ugandan children but with no way to take them home to the States! I find it deplorable that no exemptions have been made for these families and children, and that they weren’t warned about this upcoming change in policy in their prior appointments with the Vice Consular.

Secondly, I find the information inaccurate that the judges in the Uganda High Court have been under the impression “that American citizens will not adopt Ugandan children in the U.S. and that Ugandan children will not change their citizenship.” Not only do the adoptive parents come with U.S home studies and approved by the U.S government to adopt overseas, but their intentions to adopt the child in the U.S are clearly stated in their affidavits! Because Ugandan judges know this, they allow the children the right to travel outside of the country knowing full well that these children will be adopted and most likely never return to Uganda. This is the “loop hole” in the Ugandan law that has allowed 178 orphaned Ugandan children to be adopted in the States in the last 3 years. For the U.S. to seal off this loop hole and deny orphaned Ugandan children the right to loving American homes is indeed an unnecessary travesty. To say that Ugandan judges have not known that these children will be adopted in the U.S is insulting their intelligence and tremendously offensive.

Thirdly, it is extremely presumptuous to expect the Ugandan Government to rewrite their current adoption law to allow non Ugandans to obtain adoption without the 36 month foster period in Uganda or for judges to rewrite their court rulings, in order for the U.S to continue to issue IR-4 Immigrant visas. In the past ten years Ugandan judges have allowed the adoptions of 248 Ugandan orphans to American families. Why would the U.S government want to impede this by denying the children visas? It is highly offensive for the U.S government to insult the intelligence of these Ugandan judges by insinuating that they have been so naïve as to not have known that these children would be adopted in the U.S., and that they could do their jobs better by adding additional wording to their guardianship orders.

Fourthly, on the web sight that the Vice Consular refers to, there is no current or updated information on this issue. Furthermore, under country specific Information for Uganda, under #4 and #5 it refers to adopting the child “(or gaining Legal Custody)”, and continues to use the terms “adoption” and “legal custody” interchangeably. It rightly assumed the possibility that if you were taking your Ugandan child to the U.S it was under Legal Guardianship and you would complete the adoption there. In the past this loop hole in the Ugandan law was honored by the U.S while now it seems that it will not.

I am truly horrified at this latest turn of events. Not only has it left American parents and their Ugandan children stranded in Uganda (all but one of these families have other children waiting in the U.S) but it insults the intelligence of the Ugandan judges who have been issuing these Legal Guardianship orders. Most importantly, it has slammed the doors for Ugandan orphans, now and in the future, to find loving homes with American families. This should be unacceptable.

This is obviously a much more complicated matter then the Vice Consular addresses. I implore the U.S government to resolve this issue quickly and to make it possible for U.S citizens to continue to adopt Ugandan children through the loop hole that the Ugandan law has provided. And please, lets not insult the Ugandan government and the High Court judges!

Letter from the Vice Consular

My mom received the following email from our Congressman, who had contacted the Embassy in Kampala over the issues of the US refusing to issue families here to pick up their children under Legal Guardianship, visas. Bear in mind that in the affidavits it is ALWAYS clearly spelled out that the child will be taken to and adopted in the States. The judges KNOW this, they just don't choose to put it in their Rulings.

Needless to say, I'm still not impressed with the US decision. By requiring the adoptions to be complete they are slamming the doors to Americans in the States adopting from Uganda. So SAD for all the Ugandan orphans who have been finding homes in the US!

Dear Ms. Price,

Thank you for forwarding this information. This is the information I’ve been giving prospective adoptive parents and other stakeholders:

On Wednesday, February 3^rd, the Vice Consul at U.S. Embassy Kampala met with Ugandan government officials to discuss adoption in Uganda. During the meeting, the Vice Consul was informed that legal guardianship orders issued by the High Court of Uganda are issued with the understanding that American citizens will not adopt Ugandan children in the U.S. and that Ugandan children will not change their citizenship.

Part of IR-4 immigrant visa eligibility requires that the prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) obtain custody of the child for the purposes of emigration and adoption abroad. While guardianship orders need not contain specific language stating that the guardianship is granted with the court’s understanding that the guardians may depart Uganda with the child in order to complete a full and final adoption abroad, it must at a minimum allow the PAPs to fix the abode of the child. Guardianship orders that merely indicate that the guardians are permitted to travel outside of Uganda with the child and do not permit them to fix the abode of the child would not meet the requirements of U.S. immigration law. The U.S. Department of State does not have a visa category that would allow PAPs to foster a child in the U.S.

We are currently working on obtaining official language from the Government of Uganda that states explicitly what the legal guardianship order allows. Our office has sent diplomatic notes to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the Ministry of Justice on Constitutional Affairs and the Chief justice of the Supreme Court to request a clear definition of what the legal guardianship order states.

These are the options we are giving to PAPs:

1. Consult with your Ugandan attorney to seek and obtain a full and final adoption.
2. Wait until our office receives a response from the Government of Uganda and then we can provide guidance on our processing of cases.

It may be likely that all U.S. PAPs may have to obtain a full and final adoption in Uganda in order to obtain an immigrant IR-3 visa. When we have more information from the Government of Uganda, we will be sure to inform PAPs. Please continue to monitor our website and www.adoption.state.gov for updates on this issue.

Please let me know if you have any other questions or concerns.

Regards,

Ms. Sahar Hussain

Vice Consul

U.S. Embassy Kampala

Uganda

Heartbroken

I am heartbroken. Just got news yesterday that the US embassy is denying children visas whose parents are American citizen's and have gotten Legal Guardianship for them. This after the parents have jumped through ALL the US adoption and immigration hoops AND the Uganda legal and immigration hoops! We are talking thousands and thousands of dollars spent and children who ARE ALREADY WITH THEIR NEW PARENTS being denied the right to go with them to the States. If that is not wrong then I do not know what is.

There are at least three American families stranded in Kampala right now, who have gone through all the legal work of getting Legal Guardianship from the Uganda government, AND all the US paperwork, and are being told that they can't take their children home now. One has a sick child who if left here, will die.

I am still not 100% sure as to WHY the US has decided to do this. Have they decided not to recognize Legal Guardianship at all, ever, do they want some rewording of the court order, or will they start issuing visa's again for situations like this (maybe after all the flap in Haiti is over?) like they've done in the past?

I hope it's either rewording or they will start issuing these visas again in the next month or so. To not recognize Legal Guardianship at all would effectively slam the doors for Americans to adopt children from Uganda EVER, unless they lived here. The people who would be the MOST affected by this are the kids. Totally innocent youngsters. Americans can go elsewhere to adopt but for these kids, they can't look elsewhere for parents!! The babies and children's homes in this countries are overflowing and the US not recognizing Legal Guardianship's will NOT help the situation. And we can't rely on our Canadian neighbors to pick up the adoption reins because their government was the first to start stopping issuing these visas! So if all of this stands, there will be no more Ugandan children finding homes in North America anytime soon. So, so tragic and sad.

I am depressed and heartbroken about this. This situation needs a ton of prayer and activism. These three families especially just need to get back home, WITH THIER KIDS.