So I just read this story yesterday. And then, because I couldn’t leave well enough alone, I read this. It's not the first time it's happened, either. Check out this.
Now this case is particularly disturbing in SOOO many ways. When a child is killed it’s bad enough, but this case hits closer to home (she was adopted AND from Africa) and somehow having your parents torture and kill you seems like the ultimate betrayal. Especially knowing that Hana was adopted as an older child and undoubtedly already had feelings of abandonment, trauma and grief to begin with.
Yes, a murder is a murder, but somehow the more extended psychological abuse that Hana is recorded to have gone through (ostracized for her Hepatitis, kept outside or in a closet and excluded from the family, her hair cut as a punishment, told she “didn’t deserve” to celebrate her birthday, starved, etc) is even more heartbreaking to me. Ms Williams seemed to have genuinely hated both her adopted children and inflicted cruel torture upon them.
And it makes me wonder, why?
Yes, when you adopt a child that child brings along some baggage. Sometimes lots of baggage. And that can be frustrating. It can cause you not to enjoy the child. You will have to work harder to really love that child. You will have to parent the child differently than a biological one because the kids been HURT, their brain thinks differently, and they need help rehabilitating (not to mention they might not understand what you are saying to them in English!).
I can sympathize with frustration. When I read that Hana had “issues with hygiene” and so was not allowed to use the family bathroom but instead had to use a porta potty outside, my first was thought was “fecal smearing”. This is quite a common behavior with troubled children from similar situations as Hana and although neither of my children have ever exhibited it, I can not imagine how awful it must be for parents to have to deal with. My little Frankie has commonly used toileting issues as a source of control but thankfully he’s never gone as far as that!
But no, Hana did not have a problem with anything like fecal smearing. The poor kid touched things (like the door knob!) in the bathroom without remembering to wash her hands first! That was the extent of her “rebellion” and “poor hygiene” that got the poor kid stuck using a porta potty outside and taking cold showers in the hose.
From what I read in the report, it did not appear to me that Hana even exhibited RAD behaviors, which I fully expected. Nor did it seem that her little brother, also abused and adopted, did either. Not that RAD would be an excuse for um, torturing and killing her, but it would help in understanding the mothers behaviors a bit easier. Yes, I’m sure they were less than perfect children and had annoying issues but really, making them sleep in closets and the bathroom for years? Spanking the Deaf boy because he “pretended that he couldn’t hear them.”?? Um, no.
What continued to disturb me is how the older children, boys, would also beat Hana and that she was forced to bathe naked outside under a garden hose. You’re talking a girl hitting puberty here! That struck me as really disturbing and I hope that the boys can get some help. Otherwise… oh dear.
Sadly, this is not the first case of something like this happening. So what’s the connection? What is the “cause”? They all contained the same factors of adoption, Christianity , homeschooling, spanking and No Greater Joy teachings – all of which can be controversial and people could point fingers at.
Interestingly, I have experienced personally the first four things – adoption (I adopted my own kids), Christianity (raised by Christian parents, am a professing Christian today), was homeschooled, and spanked on occasion during my childhood. I have lived these things and no, any of them in their true form will NOT lead to the torture and murder of a child. It will NOT. They are fundamentally the exact opposites.
Thankfully I never experienced, as a child or an adult with my own kids, the Pearl’s No Greater Joy teachings but I’ve read one of their books. And they do promote a lot of the ideas of “punishment” that the Williams used on their daughter, Hana (bathing a child in a garden hose, beating them with a plumbing hose over the entire back of their body, and withholding food, to name a few). I was actually given one of their books by a “whoop ‘em till they’re broken” couple who unfortunately had a lot of adopted children that they didn’t understand and regularly beat the crap out of. So my radar was up to begin with. But I digress…
I think that the lethal ingredient to these components is LEGALISM. Okay, I believe that legalism is at the core of No Greater Joy and may be its MAIN ingredient, but for the others it’s not. But when added – watch out!
I would hope that the American church isn’t using “Adoption” as another notch in a Christians belt. And honestly folks, we ALL struggle with legalism, genuinely wanting to serve Christ but to also “look good”. But when you add legalism into Christianity, adoption, homeschooling, raising and disciplining children, things go wrong.
So I guess my point is, Christianity, homeschooling, spanking, and especially adoption, are not bad in themselves but they can be if you add a good does of legalism to them. In the Williams case, it didn’t look to me like they especially wanted those children and I wonder why they even adopted in the first place. I mean, it’s not easy or cheap to adopt. You don’t just “end up” adopting internationally! Could it possibly be because “the thing” to do as “good” Christian, homeschooling parents is to adopt as well? It's so sad that when something as beautiful as adoption(and the others!) can be twisted into something sick and lethal :(
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