Ella takes up GOLFING ;)

So today young L donned her skort and sun visor, packed up her little brother and mom, and headed for the golf course for her first day of golfing! A funny sport for a H to pick up, I know, especially a four, almost five, year old H... I think we're climbing the social latter!

The golf club here give childrens lessons through the school holidays for about $6.00 for three weeks of golf lessons, two hours a day, five days a week. Not bad!

I counted 15 kids there on the green, aging from 3 to 14 or so. There were two or three instructors and I was impressed that each kid was able to get individual attention and plenty of time to play. They divided them up pretty well into cooperative and uncooperative (Ella was of course in the cooperative group ;) so the cooperative kids weren't getting screwed up by the uncooperative ones.

They started out practicing shooting drives (I think that's a golf term...) Each kid had a pile of golf balls, a long club, and a golf tee.

Our friend Aquila was there for his second month of lessons so being a seasoned golfer (and a pretty good one!), he helped answer some of my questions! It was really nice for Ella to have a friend to hang out with.

"This is how you swing."

Ella was pretty intent and serious about the whole thing. It was a little bit more intense than playing miniture golf with her Aunt Becky this summer (and probably a whole lot safer for the surrounding people... ;)!

"Do I really want to listen to you? I just want to wack that ball... "

"Like this? This is crazy!"

The "practicing your swing" did not go over too well with L - she looked like she was opperating a slasher!

Setting the ball on the tee

Take aim

Fire!

Frankie amused himself by climbing around on this tractor implement. What a cool place a golf course is - they have dogs and tractors!

Watching and learning....

After all the kids practiced their long drives, they practiced their putts. I just loved this three year old! Her and L were quite the serious little golfers!

This is about my favorite picture. Aquila putting, the "catcher" waiting to catch the ball, and the two little girls watching the whole thing with interest! All these children golfing was really a hoot. Hysterical!

Ella tries her hand at putting - she actually got it in a few times! Aquila is there fetching the balls.

Aquila scraping the balls into the hole

To top it all off, we had Sarah's sister, Lillian, driving around in the golf cart! She is our "inside source" in the golf club since she works there :).

Ella started crying twice (imagine how proud that made me!), once when they were done putting and she wanted to putt some more, and when we were leaving. She wanted to "go to the clubhouse and watch tv." HA!!!! I couldn't believe those words were coming out of my four year olds lips! Clubhouse?? My have things changed since I was four!!!

She did decide that she liked her teacher, which was a good thing. She's not exactly used to a man telling her what to do, epsecially one that she doesn't know but she soon found that he was the ticket to making sure she got a turn and no one took her golf club. Smart girl, my little L :) Nor is she used structured teaching, which will change when she starts school in a couple months! All in all she did well, except for the few tears ;)

Have you ever pet a hyena? We have!

This morning dawned over caste but not raining so the crew and I headed for a morning at the zoo. Some may turn up their noses at our little zoo but we know that good things come in small packages! Maybe because I'm from a small town myself but I appreciate smallness. In what other zoo do you and your children get to actually touch and pet the animals and the zoo keepers know and like your children? Not many!!

Today's thrill was getting to pet a hyena. Not touch a hyena, but pet a hyena! The hyena's were up and pacing around and one big old guy (the hyena with two eyes) would come up to the fence, rub up against us and let us scratch him! At one point he even flopped down on his side - he loved it!


I never noticed before just how BIG hyena's are and how stinky they are. Pew. They're about five time the size of our dogs and I bet weigh at least 100 lbs. Ella thought the old guy wanted to come home with us and declared that the first thing we'd do was give him a bath!

Me scratching him through the fence

L scratching him through the fence

So now I have a four year old who has petted a red tailed monkey, a rhino AND a hyena. Top that!

The Zoo Crew

Frankie's still in training, as he simply observed he hyena massage rather than participate, and sometimes we use him as bait :). He has had the red tailed monkey get out of it's cage and hug his leg, but he's leaving the larger animals for when he gets a wee bit older. A good start for a two year old I'd say.

"Little Frank and Ellahood walking through the forest!"

We had some awesome rhino action too and I even got to touch ones ear and back! I got TONS of pictures of rhinos because they just kept getting closer and closer...

Until they were right under us!

At this point I was not only taking a picture and trying to touch it, but also trying to keep Ella from leaping over the wall on top of it. There is no fear of mammals with the H's. We wouldn't last long in the wild I'm afraid. We'd be an easy meal for any animal as we'd march fearlessly up and try to pet it!

A rhino butt - been there, touched that!

At this point I was getting a little nervous as he had his horn through the fence and was starting to snort and thrash his head around. Those suckers are BIG!!!

I missed several opportunities to throw Frankie on board a rhino and get pictures of them galloping across the encloser. Maybe next time.... ;)

And FINALLY, after TWO MONTHS of looking, we FINALLY spotted the giraffe!! Eventually maybe we'll be able to pet them too but not to soon at this rate! We hear that they're young and recently captured so maybe that's why they've been so illusive.

Altogether another successful day at the zoo. Petted a hyena, touched a rhino, saw the giraffe and no one lost any fingers, got trampled or was left at the zoo.

Last week when we went to the zoo my young and budding equestrians got another stab at riding Steve and Hector, the donkeys.

They ride them quite masterfully, I say!

This is merely a look of concentration on Frankie's part. He was so excited to ride the donkey that he practically climbed up it's leg to get on!

Nothing like a little "donkey whispering" after the big ride. Frankie was in on it until Hector sneezed!

I pray that her attraction to asses doesn't follow her to adulthood! But they sure make a cute pair, don't they?!!

Got enthusiasm?

My sons vocabulary – and problems that often arise because of it

Frank has acquired quite an English vocabulary in just two short months. It’s amazing really how much he’s picked up. However in just two months your new vocab is still very limited. So it sometimes makes conversations with Frankie rather mundane and gives you a certain case of déjà vu when chatting to him about tractors, or monkeys or Ella or how old he is, how he’s doing and what his name is.

Some of his most commonly used and favorite words are jump, wait, come on, tractor, Bible, amen, hallelujah (weird – I sure don’t go around using this word a lot!), Kayo NO, horsie (pronounced “Forsie”), donkey, banana and his most favorite of all it seems, poop. Now I have no idea why my children like to talk about poop so much but it does seem to be a common theme in our household, especially with Frank. I try to be patient since I know he doesn’t have the vocabulary to talk about a whole lot, but still....

Picture this: Grace at church sitting for two hours on a wooden pew (unpadded I might add) with her thirty pound son sitting on her lap. Frankie, the thirty pound son, does pretty well and Grace, who is supposed to be a missionary after all, beams with pride when her small son shouts out “bless you!” to the guy sitting beside them who sneezes, or when he shouts out at random “Jesus!”, “Amen!” and “Bible!” People around them smile. Grace feels good. Then Frankie shouts out “POOP!” Uh, Grace doesn’t feel so good anymore and tries to find a good way to shush Frankie without making him cry or causing a scene. Smiles fade from the faces of their fellow congregates and eyebrows raise. Just what is this “missionary” teaching her son, they ponder?

Such is my dilemma. Now, he is only two years old and potty training and bodily functions are a big part of a two year olds life, not to mention that he doesn’t have a huge variety of other things to talk about due to his limited English vocabulary. But still, it does get old and I really don’t notice other people’s children talking about poop all the time. Meanwhile, my kids seem obsessed with it :(. I told him to stop talking about it today, using a nice, happy, upbeat voice (which is much different than my cranky, I-mean-business bitchy voice which has been known to cause children, and some adults perhaps, to burst into tears) , and the boy almost started to cry. He didn’t want to talk about bananas – he wanted to talk about Kayo pooping!

We are trying to help him learn more and more English so hopefully he’ll have more to talk about and this is just a faze. I found helpful little Ella teaching him “butt cheeks” the other day... Yes, my kids are weird.

The boy's got some very nice Thomas the Train underpants that his Granny sent him :)

Finally - A sunny day!!!

Not much blogging going on lately because it has done nothing but RAIN, hence not many bloggable activities. But today the rain ceased and with our dear Aunt Prossy, we headed to the zoo!

We were all so ready to get out of the house and to romp around outside, not to mention have an additional smiling face with us. In celebration we rented a golf cart at the zoo so that Prossy could have a bit of fun driving around. Being as her grandparents never got her a lawn tractor when she was four and she's never driven a real, big tractor (pulling a disk I might add, when you're only four!) a little golf cart was perfect to start out in. And boy did we have fun! It was a perfect lovely day and we didn't run over any tourists or children :).

The jolly crew! (this is my favorite picture of all - it's the wallpaper on my computer now!)

Ready, set, here we go!

"This is how we drive a golf cart, children!"

The snakes were all out and big and gross!

Ewwwww!!!!

The rhino's were out too but sadly not close enough for Ella to touch one's butt again :(

Ella patiently waited for over an hour until we were done driving around and she could jump on the jumping castle. Unlike our trampoline, it has a slide!

Sadly, the donkeys were not out so Ella jumped on the jumping castle instead. Frankie had had enough and opted out.

It was SO good to be outside and to the zoo again and spend the day with Prossy. God has blessed us with easy opportunities to have some good fun (as well as some good friends to have fun with)! We might even head back tomorrow if it's not raining. I am SO SICK of the rain and staying indoors!

A very Merry Christmas - everyone!

Whew did we have a wonderful Christmas 2009!! Frankie's first with our family and our precious Kayo's first ever ;).

The wondrous event started, of course, with opening gifts (most which were provided by their dear Gran. Who needs Santa?) in the morning. What fun! The kids were delighted and it was so fun to see. Sharp tack that he is, Frankie figured out how to rip into presents in no time thanks to the example of his talented sister! There really should be an Olympic event for opening presents - my kids would excel!

We opened presents, ate breakfast, and then got gussied up for church. Attended an absolutely wonderful service at our church and got there early enough that we not only got a good parking spot but good seats as well. There was a lot of good African dancing, some great singing, God was glorified and I was truly blessed. I do NOT miss the hype of Christmas in the States, nor the cold weather. As I sat there with my youngsters, rather than wishing to be back in the States with the rest of my family, I really wished that they could be there with us. I'm so blessed to start this tradition of taking my kids to church on Christmas morning.

After a wonderful service, Prossy joined us and we came home, changed clothes, then headed to our friends, the Nzogi's, house for Christmas dinner. What fun we had with our friends eating, playing (the kids), chatting, more eating, and watching movies. The youngsters present were Blessed (5 years), Ella (4 years), Benja (3 years), Frankie (2 years) and baby Bethel (8 months). They all played really well together and I must say, Princess L can really hold her own, even in a crowd of rambunctious boys! Frank's did awesome and it is so neat to see him acting like a NORMAL child now :).

The Spread/The Loot

"WAHOOOO!"

Ella demonstrating how to rip into a gift

Frankie standing proudly with his new Hermie and Wormie movie, "Stanley the Stinkbug goes to Camp."

Frankie demonstrating how he can now open a present. Having his little birthday celebration gave him some practice so come Christmas morn, the boy new exactly what to do!

Frankie with his cool helicopter from his Gran

Ella with her microphone! She squealed with joy when she opened this one!

Frank with his new "slippers" from his Aunt Prossy

He loved them so much that he didn't want to take them off - even when he was on the potty getting ready to get dressed for church!


The youngsters - Benja, Ella, Blessed, Bethel, Frankie

This picture cracked me up - it looks like a happy couple with their baby. And just look at baby Bethels cool dude look on his face!

Some balloon fun

Little Benja. What a pistol! He was dressed a bit like Tigger and acts a lot like him too!

Prossy and baby Bethel, chillin'

Benja and Frankie sharing a laugh

Frankie and Benja wrestling - amazing if you new Frankie six weeks ago ! He NEVER would have tolerated this but now? He likes it!!

Not one but TWO Christmas cakes!

Prossy cutting the cake

The youngsters OD'd on sugary sweets, fun and excitement, and me on good food and Coke, then we all came home at 8pm and two exhausted little children were bathed and tumbled into bed.

How blessed I am by my family (both here and afar that send gifts!), friends and most of all JESUS!

Children's Church Christmas Party

Last Sunday our church had a Christmas party that the kids attended. They had a blast -even little Frankie! There were various games, some free play, party snacks and then of course, a cake (a Ugandan party would not be complete without the cake!).

Frankie was border line disassociating during the games but I just held him and kept him close for about an hour, then suddenly the real Frankie emerged and didn't stop running and jumping the rest of the evening! I was SO proud of my little Franks :)

Ella, well, she is a social butterfly anyways and ran about frolicking with her little friends and Frankie the whole time. Both kids had SO much fun!

Little L (in red on the right) lining up for the sack race

There they go!! L's not very competitive but her trampoline jumping really paid off

There were a lot of little jump ropers. Ugandan girls can really skip rope!

"Hmm, can I do that?"

Sadly, not all Ugandan girls can jump rope. There are a few exceptions.... ;)

Gotta love these little partiers. Nothing like a few ruffles and frills!!

While the girls were jump roping (or trying to!), Frankie and his friend Elijah were playing ball

Ol' Franks was being a little comedian while he threw the ball, with some weird facial contortions and body movements. Must say, the little dude has quite the arm!

Lining up for their food
Elijah and Franks chowin' down

The H children are not picky eaters! And boy do they like their food :)

And last but not least, the cake!

Frankie did amazing, running and playing around like a normal child. He kept track of me but was confident enough to leave my side and have fun. I could not believe it and was SO encouraged. Thank you Lord!

Happy Two Month Anniversary Frankie!!!!

Today, in honor of Frankie's two month anniversary of being home, we drove to Kampala through the horrible Christmas traffic, to pay the lawyer an ADDITIONAL one million shillings for Franks Legal Guardianship. A one million shillings (about $600) that I hadn't planned on and was a complete surprise to me. Needless to say, you can imagine how happy I was, especially since this is DOUBLE what little L's Guardianship was, 19 months ago. But I had a nice chat with Victoria and come to find out I had just missed receiving the new prices which are actually pretty reasonable.

We stopped at our favorite Ethiopian joint on the way home and filled ourselves with delicious Ethiopian food, so all was well :)

We have a different boy here than the little guy we brought home two months ago. The change is amazing! He is a happy, bouncy little guy who likes to laugh and make us laugh. Gotta love his weird sense of humor! He's becoming more outgoing and is even voluntarily talking to people now! What's also amazing is how much easier it is for a two year old to adjust than for a three year old. That extra year really matters.

Ella has thanked me more than once for bringing home her "Frankie brother." Yes, she still likes to tease and kick him sometimes but in general she LOVES him and he loves her. It is really neat to see. Its getting harder and harder to imagine how our lives were without him!

Physically he's changing as well. He's lost his big belly and while still nice and chunky, he's slimmed down a bit with all the exercise and activity he gets. Also, he eats like a normal two year old now, rather than like a starving teenager. I almost think he's possibly grown a bit taller, too.

I'm SO THANKFUL to God for working in Frankie's life like He has been in Ella's. It is truly miraculous to see someone change so dramatically and it is only by His hand. I never expected another kid to adjust as well as Ella did but it looks like God is doing it again! (Why does this surprise me? It shouldn't but it does! )

A boy and his cat - he's happy because Cody is smaller than him and can't knock him down!

Sis and Bro in their pj's

Frankie and Ella on the top bunk - Frankie can climb up there on his own now!

Memorable events

Just noticed that it's been five days since my last post. Where does the time go?

Last Tuesday we picked our friend, Tanya, up from the airport, as she was heading home to Canada for the holidays and flew through Entebbe. She left Wednesday night but we tried to pack in as much fun as possible in the short time she was here. It had been NINE months since her last visit!!!

Some memorable events happened during her visit, both in the life of Frankie and Ella. Not only was it Frankie's first time to meet this Canadian Auntie, but it was his first time out eating pizza, too! His dear Auntie took the following pics of the little guy.

"Bring it on!"

Our favorite pizza joint is located right on the shores of the great Lake Victoria

Memorable in the life of L, and myself I might add, was her first experience of petting a rhino!! It was only the rhino's butt, mind you, but how many four year olds do you know that have pet a rhino before? I know of only ONE!!

And no, it didn't poop.... ;) And yes, that's my baby bravely touching that big old rhino's butt!

Tanya also took the following picture of our happy little family with the neighbors friendly sheep.

Ella and I have been down with colds for the last two days. I am ready to get my energy back and get some things done before Christmas in less than a week. Ack! Praying that Frankie won't come down with it or that it won't hit him as hard.

Sadly, I didn't get any pictures of Tanya with the kids! What was I thinking? Too caught up with the rhinos butt and trying to touch it...

Tea Party! Of the non political kind....

We have been having some absolutely beautiful afternoons and evenings here in Entebbe. Now, the weather is usually always nice here, but the last few days have just been exceptional for some reason. Maybe it's my refreshed state of mind, or the fact that my camera is working again, but these nice afternoons have prompted some lovely little tea parties in our yard.

If we lived in the States we would definitely be participating in some "real" tea parties, but since we don't, our backyard parties will have to do!

Tea for two :)

Being non Brits, our tea parties consist of tea and peanuts - very Ugandan :)

Now there is a party crasher in at every party, and you can guess who crashed our party!

Poor guy! Not only is he the wrong color, he's the wrong species!

This is Frankie trying to follow the example of his mother and look cross eyed :)

The little dude just loves a party!

He was goofing around and talking to his peanuts before he ate them :)

Frankie's first donkey ride - and other zoo pictures!

Saturday morning we headed to the zoo after a couple hours of morning rain. What a great time to go to the zoo! The place was relatively empty and the animals were out because of the cool weather and they wanted fed. We had quite the lion and hyena show and Frankie took his first donkey ride!!

He took his donkey ride last, when he was getting tired and hungry, so while he probably didn't have the absolute best time of his life, he didn't pitch a fit or cry! And I have to say, I was proud of him because he was not scared of those donkeys, like so many children are. Yes, he is becoming more and more my son!

Ella looks a little guilty here for some reason - like the two of them are trying to steal Hector the Donkey or something...

Look at how little Ella rides that donkey! Sits up straight and looks ahead with her little brother "happily" riding along behind

All this kid needs is a pony and English saddle and she'd be doing dressage in no time! ;)

We had an amazing hyena show. This old guy was coming right up to the fence! I could have touched it had I wanted to, only I didn't want to. Ella thought he wanted to play but I think that he just wanted to eat Frankie :).

Wouldn't he make a nice addition to our dog pack?!

Ella, posing proudly withe gorilla statue

Frankie was not so happy about posing with the gorilla statue! He kept it together though, although he really wanted to cry!

The youngsters looking at the otters

Ella on the monkey bars - she's quite the little climber!

Ella on the teeter totter

Ella is becoming quite the celebrity at the zoo. There is just something about her that makes people notice and like her. She is fast friends with Florence, the donkey lady, who gives her peanuts, and the reptile and bird keeper, who comments on how lively she is every time we see him. She is a very social child and quite confident and talkative. She is very AMERICAN and kinda hard to miss.... ;)

Why we love him....

Kayo can be obnoxious, rude and a huge pain in the butt, but we can't help but love him! He is a clumsy dog and has the tendency to not look where he is going and to body slam small children (luckily only mine so far!). He'll also barks like an idiot nonstop and tries to bite people that come who he doesn't know. Although he's about 10 months old, he still doesn't know how to lift his leg, either.

But despite all these faults and shortcomings we love him :)

Sleeping on a baby pillow tucked under one of L's doll blankets.

Aren't these a fine looking lot?

This bunch has awesome colors - chocolate/caramel swirl, vanilla and strawberry!

And Frank's learning to fit right in with the rest of the boys! (He'd fit into the Chocolate Lab category :)

Fun in the sun :)

In honor of our friends and relatives in Montana and Wyoming (and Alberta too!) who are surviving sub zero temperatures, our sympathetic gang headed to the beach today!

Sister and brother, taking a dip

Ella likes to venture out...

... while Frank's prefers to splash along the edge

Ella and Kayo both are of the same breed - they LOVE water!

Bridger and Kayo, after chasing sticks in the Lake. Frankie is quite the mighty thrower and has a really good arm!

Bridger - King of the Beach

Fun at the beach would not be complete without playing in the sand and collecting shells!

Sitting and splashing

Bobbing/floating

Playing in the Lake makes us smile!

Ella, perching on a rock

I am so glad to be missing out on the weather back in Montana! That is really something that I do not miss and am so thankful for the perfect weather here :)

Banana tree destruction!

Today was a "destroy something" day. Everybody needs a little bit of destruction now and then and I thought today would be a good one as both kids are still tired (thereby just a wee bit cranky) from yesterday.

So the entire family, including our faithful K9's, had an epic battle with a banana tree and WE WON!!!

Yes, I have been on maternity leave for less than two months and we are fighting with banana trees. Hmmm.... leaves ya wondering, doesn't it?!

Kayo begins by going in for the kill

You can jump with banana leaves

Or run dragging your banana leaf

But you have to be careful or Kayo will come again!

Tug O War with Kayo

"Hmm, do I dare try to take it from Bridger?"

Sad to say, the little guy did try to take it from Bridger, and Bridge, being the kind of guy that he is, had no qualms about biting the chubby little baby hand! Gently of course ;)

A kid and dog train!

The victor!

After we've torn them all up, banana leaves are fun to play with on the trampoline

And of course, destruction would not be fully complete if you didn't have a go with your scissors!

Celebrating two years of Frankie's life!

Today, in addition to a morning spent with friends, going out to lunch and going to the zoo, we had a small celebration for Frankie. Being as we missed his birthday (I'm guesstimating that it was sometime in October) and he was singing "Happy Birthday, yeah Fwankie!" all yesterday, I decided that he needed a small party with cake, candles and singing.

Being as many Ugandan children like Frankie don't even make it to their second birthday thanks to malaria, diarrhea and other hard facts of life here, I am very grateful for God's care and protection over Frankie these last two years of his life. His life and survival are nothing to take for granted!

The party only consisted of our family and our neighbor baby, James, and his mom, Kathryn because, after all, this is Frankie and I wanted him to enjoy the attention without feeling overwhelmed.

There really are two candles on the cake even though in this picture you can only see one. Frank's party hat makes him look like either a dunce or a princess, not sure which!

I even threw in one small gift (wrapped in Christmas paper but it was recycled from last Christmas!) which come to find out, he didn't know how to open... But Frankie really enjoyed his little party and I was satisfied by his happy little face and belly laughs. He was still singing happy birthday when I gave him a bath!!

Ella helped me make the cake last night. She's quite the little helper, that L :)

She even helps wash the dishes!

Frankie found the dog sunvisor that L got at the Montana Fair this year and boy does he make a cute dog!! He just cracked me up with his fat little cheeks and dog ears hanging. Fit's in better with the rest of the bunch I'd say!

Isn't that a hoot? He's such a dorky, baby chunk!

Progress - slowly but surely!

We’re not even to the two month mark yet and Frankie is doing really well. I remember with Ella that the first three months were not the best and definitely not my favorite! Because of his age and shorter amount of time spent at the babies home he’s adjusting and fitting in a lot quicker than she did. Plus he has an older sister to help him and a more laid back mother whose got some experience.

I’m not the type of adoptive parent who just loves to bring new kids home – I love it after the first six months when the kid is more secure, confident, blended with the family and their ‘real’ personality has emerged. To be honest, the first month or so it can feel like you’re babysitting someone else’s kid, only full time and without pay! Every household and parent has different rules and ways of doing things and it seems the first couple of months is spent just attaching and teaching your kid basic things. What doesn’t annoy someone else really annoys me and vise versa. And lets face it, I’m a crank! I find some behaviors absolutely intolerable and feel the need to squelch them pretty quick.

Well, after a month and a half or so Frankie is mastering the following pretty well:

Eating – he is not gorging himself and wanting more food, and is eating slower. Mind you he still won’t leave any food on his plate but he’s content after he’s finished it. He also doesn’t just flip things onto the floor that he doesn’t like and is eating well with a spoon.

He’s still working on taking SMALLER bites of food but isn’t gagging himself as much, like before. He’ll also eat popcorn or peanuts ONE at a time, rather than a huge handful, plus his hand. We’re still working on bananas – like you take a bite and chew it, rather than just stuff the entire thing into your mouth. Gross!

Whining – beings as that’s really the only way he could communicate when he just came home (being barely two and not speaking any English) he did this a LOT the first couple of weeks. Unfortunately my tolerance to whining is ZERO so we both had to do a bit of compromising there. I tried to be a bit more tolerant (not sure I was too successful) and teach him some alternatives, which were basically just simple NICE words. He’s not whining half as much and it’s really helped that he’s speaking now!

Snarky – oh my, the boy could be REALLY snarky and everything, especially affection, was on HIS terms. Now this just didn’t work for me because he was trying to treat both me and Ella like crap and this is NOT a good pattern to continue. Now, he is anything but snarky! Mind you we all have our cranky days but not everything has to be done on his terms anymore.

Sharing – now I understand that every two year old (and child!) has a problem with this but Frank was over the top. He would freak if I took his fork to chop some of his food, or if Ella took a toy to try to fix it for him. Now he’s learned that the world isn’t out to get him and its OKAY if he needs to give something to either me or Ella.

Talking nice - We’re still working on talking nicely, mainly to Ella. Being two, one of his favorite words now is “NO!!” which is okay if he needs to get his point across, but you have to say it nicely. And really, you should only say no when there is actually something to say no about – and Ella existing across the room from you is not one!! I don’t tolerate children treating each other badly anyways, whether it’s physically or with words, so he’s learning to talk nicely. It’s okay to tell Ella no (otherwise she’ll walk all over the top of you!) but it has to be done appropriately. He’s also working on saying “no thank you” when he doesn’t want something, rather just screaming “NO!!!” at Ella, like she’s the spawn of Satan or something, when she’s just trying to offer him something he doesn’t want. He’s getting a LOT better.

Talking nicely also includes saying thank you when some things given to you. I wondered at first if I was too particular about this and if I needed to give him a break, but I didn’t. Needless to say, he missed out on a lot of candy and juice because he REFUSED to say thank you. He would absolutely refuse and even look away from you. Out of stubbornness I stuck to my guns and now the little feller says thank you for everything to both me and Ella! It really makes for a much more pleasant child and I think it makes him happier too. He gets a lot more treats this way!

Disassociating- this is also described as “still faced” and “conservation withdrawal” which is exactly what Frankie does when he’s overwhelmed. Exactly! He does this when we’re around a lot of people and they are paying attention to him – the blank face comes and he totally shuts down and withdraws (which is what he did at the babies home when we’d go see him). It annoys me and makes me sad because he’s usually such a perky little guy and then boom – he’s turned off and not there. I have noticed that just in the last week I have not seen him do this ONCE and we’ve been with several groups of different people! Thank you, Lord!

Obviously these are all just symptoms of a deeper problem – mainly coming from an environment that requires babies and small children to fend for and look after themselves. It’s neat to see that as Frank feels more secure and trusts us more, these behaviors are becoming easier and easier for him.

He doesn’t have to stuff himself with food because we’re not going to take it from him and there will just be more later.

He doesn’t have to whine and be a brat in order to be heard and have his needs met.

He doesn’t have to be in control of everything and it’s okay for others to show him affection, even when he doesn’t initiate it.

It’s also safe to share with others because he can trust us to share, and not to just take whatever he has.

He’s feeling safe enough in different situations with lots of different people that he doesn’t feel like he has to disassociate to protect himself.

And learning to be thankful for what is given to you is totally not the case with orphans. I’ve found that many people have the misconception that orphans will be grateful to you for visiting them/giving them toys/building them an orphanage/giving them new clothes/even adopting them but that is not the case. They will be happy to use you because they have to use someone in order to survive.