Learned how to kiss (which is totally an American thing – not Ugandan) and show affection (he’s always been snuggly but always on his terms – when he is grumpy and done with you he is DONE WITH YOU. Instead of whining and angrily wiping away my kiss when I put him to bed tonight, he actually threw his little arms around my neck in a big hug!! And he was still even a little cranked about having to go to bed!)
Voluntarily pet the dogs and cat and show some affection to them (the big dogs are hard for him to get excited about because they are so BIG compared to him but he actually likes the little puppy quite a bit. He wanders around saying “Doggie! Doggie!” or “Puppy! Puppy!” and knows the different dogs by name)
Started to try to control Ella (which can be easy when she starts trying to out mother me. Yes Ella, Frankie DOES need to take naps!)
Has started to say “thank you” (or something like that in Frankie talk) when you give him something. This is something he has previously REFUSED to say. Mind you he’ll repeat everything else you say but NOT that. Usually you’ll tell him to say thank you and he’ll look away, smile, open his mouth really wide and breath loud (?) and refuse to say it. And yes, he CAN talk and yes, I do think he needs to say thank you as it would be a little odd to go through life doing this instead!
He was circumcised yesterday and I think that has helped attachment already – mainly in that I feel bad for him when he starts to whine (because he has a very obvious reason now!) and want to nurture him more. Also, he LOVES to be cared for and fussed over which is something that I haven’t been doing as much as I did with Ella. Adopting the second time around I am VERY laid back compared to the first time! But the circumcision has caused me to fuss over him a bit which I think he’s needed.
After two weeks of staying at home with my kids all day, I am very tired! Ella is truly a joy to be around, however she talks ALL the time, asks a lot of questions, and is RIGHT THERE whenever you are trying to do anything. This can wear you out! Frankie is emotionally needy, can’t go to the bathroom by himself, can be a bit snarky, and because he doesn’t understand English very well you have to go to extra lengths to communicate with him. And, my bathroom stinks so I’m constantly cleaning it. And I wash dishes about four times a day! I’m never this tired when I’m working at the office 30 hours a week!
Frankie seemed to be engrossed with the puppies tail!
There's not much cuter than a kid and an adorable puppy!
Yup, look at what arrived at our compound early this morning. You got it - another puppy! I think that someone dumped this pup at our gate as there was only one and he's fat and healthy and not so scared of people like Kayo was.
Since puppies aren't in such high demand, I plan on taking him to Kampala next week to the Uganda Society for Prevention to Cruelty to Animals. Dogs are GREAT for security but I really can't afford to feed another and I'm the only one the compound that wants to care for them.
This is a typical African Yellow Dog (as we like to call them). They are really a smart, tough little dog. So much better than dogs from the west like German Shepherd or Lab crosses. And are adorable puppies too!
While pondering where this puppy had come from, Ella declared that he must be "from the West". This cracked me up as, because of thier looks and the way they're built, Ella and Frankie are both probably from Western Uganda. So she's heard this a few times, "They're from the west." It's amazing at how much she hears and picks up on!
Speaking of security, Bridger and Sanyu just attacked a guy who was helping the neighbor fix his satellite dish. I'm kicking myself for not tying Sanyu up - the thought had just gone through my mind when she ran for a guy and he made the mistake of kicking her. Oops. Not a good idea. That got Bridger involved and well, you just don't kick Bridger and get away with it. That dog holds a grudge and just won't stop. To give him credit, the guy was doing some really high, great kicks. Ella loved it and said later, "That guy was doing some really great tricks! LIke this!" and she proceeded to do an imitation. Solomon and I were able to haul the dogs off the poor guy before they ripped his trousers off and they are now all safely enclosed inside. The dogs didn't seem any worse for wear although pretty hyped up. Bridger went rolling once! See what I mean by great security?
We really haven't done much of note this last week, other than go to church on Sunday. I have gone to the dentist and shopping but left the kids home with Sarah for those excursions. They are both doing GREAT. I mean, really great!! After last Friday's scream fest things have really smoothed out.
It has been so cool to see these two attaching and bonding with each other. Frankie LOVES his sister and it is so heartwarming to see them walking hand in hand to the trampoline to jump. Just today Frankie has started showing affection to his sister by giving her impromptu hugs and gently touching her face. Too precious! And Ella, well, she was MADE to be a sister and has loved him almost from day one. She kisses his little head ALL the time and tells everyone about her new brother. Their two and a half year difference is perfect because he can be her baby or playmate, depending on how she feels. They do vie for my attention some but there is no jealousy as I had anticipated. Just some friendly competition for the best spot on mom's lap.
Playing with puzzles
Frankie has some very interesting sleeping habits. Here he is sleeping upside down.
I love this picture of him looking at his new Spiderman pajama's that his Granny sent him!! Can you see his smile? It's so cute because he really seems to like his nice new clothes that are just for him.
Yep, that would be little Franks flipping you off... ;)
Well, I didn’t take any pictures for this day. Does anyone really want to see pictures of Frankie sitting on the chair in his room screaming, and screaming and screaming.... ? Nope, probably not.
He was in total survival mode today – if he had to share anything it was the end of the world and please do not tell him no. May be fine in an orphanage but in a family with a mom and a sister this doesn’t work too well and I show no mercy. You have to learn it sooner or later, little buddy so why not now?!
He was a serious little crank and it was with great relief that I finally tucked him into bed. Half hour intervals of screaming wears everybody out! Bridger was whipped.
It rained quite a bit this morning so we spent a large part of our morning inside. Franks really loosened up now, smiling and “talking” and marching around. He’s pretty shy though – anybody else shows up (even Sarah) and he’s quiet and reserved.
I let Ella watch several movies in the morning since it wouldn’t quit raining.
Nothing like a girl and her dog!
Frank had his own vantage point, too. All he needed was the remote, a beer and some potato chips!
A jolly crew
He was a little hard to get a picture of smiling because he wouldn’t hold still
Every time a pillow hits the deck it’s fair game for the dogs, mainly Kayo. Especially on rainy days, he gets really sleepy.
Kayo is the one dog whose not allowed on the furniture so I guess he thinks he has to compensate...
The little tyke was all revved up today. His fear of the dogs is greatly residing and he was at ease playing outside all day with the faithful hounds at large and going about their daily activities (which involves a lot of sleeping and following ME around). Him and Ella played outside all afternoon after their naps and it was fun to watch and participate in. No sitting idly on the porch reading a book today! I might have missed out on something fun (or funny!).
First off, we jump on the trampoline. This involves flapping ones arms up and down laughing, giving a hop and crashing down on your butt. Then comes climbing off and on, off and on the trampoline by yourself, with only the help of your willing sister for the remount. The boy likes a challenge!
Then we slide!
No fear or trepidation here! Despite his easy nature he is quite fearless and likes a challenge (good thing, isn’t it, considering all this little dudes been through in the last nine months!).
Great picture of his tiny, wasted little body... ;) Gotta love that figure! Very, very squeezable :- )
Then we race!!!
Did I fail to mention that Frankie only has one leg? The other was blown off in a landmine...
See?
We also play in the sandpit, with one of faithful hounds sleeping in the middle of it.
Kayo is such a baby that he doesn’t want to miss out on any of the action. He is much calmer after I switched their feed to something cheaper and actually started feeding him more. Blush. That’s really bad to starve your dog just because you’re cheap.... Anyway, Ella has declared him her “best buddy” so I think he’s here to stay. Good thing he’s eating that cheaper dog food (corn and soya)!
Ella planted a garden!
It was really fun watching him crash around today. He’s not clumsy and is pretty nimble on his feet, it’s just that, well, he likes a challenge and those usually involve several tries at something! He fell off both swings, once only being dragged which cracked him up, the other two times really falling. He cried, then was at it again! Ella was doing tricks on her swing and he wanted to, too. He was “bucked” off the horse swing, which didn’t crack him up so much. Maybe he’s learned that you don’t let go and dive for your mom, mid swing. Or maybe not. Perhaps he’ll try to perfect his trick riding!
He pushed his limits at nap time by talking and singing for a half an hour after I’d put him down. Not a problem unless you share a room with your sister. While cute, I didn’t feel like this was a habit that we wanted to continue so I told him no and made him stop. He cried a bit and then went to sleep. At night he didn’t try any tricks but just plopped his little head down on the pillow and went to sleep. Whew!
Like Ella, he’s not strong willed at all but probably just “silently stubborn”! He and Ella have very similar personalities. You only need to tell them no one or two times and they don’t push it. I expect him to start testing his boundaries a bit more in the next week or so but at least this time around I know exactly where our boundaries are, making them much easier to enforce. And there is NO doubt in my mind who is boss, either! This is actually making it much easier for him to adjust than it was for Ella. Poor Ellster was truly my little hapless guinea pig!
Lil Franks had a full fourth day. He started out the morning by smiling, laughing and charging around the house. At 30 lbs and only 3 feet tall, imagine a fireplug at large in your rather small house.
At around 10:30am we headed to the zoo. Yes, it might be a little early to drag your newly adopted child to the zoo on day 4 but sometimes the sanity of the mom and sister needs to have priority! Sarah came with us and we met Kathryn and James down at the zoo. We had to drive, which is pretty silly since we live so close, but I’m not hauling a 30 lb child the entire way! I need to get the wheel on our red wagon fixed so that we can haul him in that.
Frank, James and Ella
You can tell that James and Ella have been around for a while – they both know how to pose for cameras!
Little Frankster got tired after a while and got a lift on Sarah’s back. His little legs just aren’t used to so much walking!
Ella helped by carrying Sarah’s purse. And of course she wanted in the picture too! It’s so nice to have a friend like Sarah who volunteers to help you pack your 30 lb kid.
Ella was collecting some leaves and carried them in her back pockets. Made her look like she had a chicken tail!
One of my favorite little creatures at the zoo – the otter! Both me and Ella want one for a pet....
Sarah, Ella and Frank looking at the crocodiles
We wanted to play in the play area but there were already others there
This old guy was taking a nap!
Thankfully the swings were free so our youngsters got to play on those.
We had a fun morning at the zoo and both my kids were pretty tired when they got back home. Frankie took a 2.5 hour nap which we had to wake him up from so we could go the office and check our email and get some money. After that we went to a friends house where Ella had a blast playing with his kids, then home to make dinner and we had Prossy over for dinner. It was Ella’s kind of day – lots of friends and activities! At this point Franks more of a stay-at-home kind of guy but he did fine too.
Frankie is doing much better with the dogs today (Sunday, day three). So much better that he’s even playing outside with them wandering freely around! And having Kayo, our lunchtime cleanup crew, sitting patiently by the table during lunch didn’t slow him down at all. Kayo takes his job very seriously let me tell you. Food doesn’t hit the ground and remain for any longer than one or two seconds with him around! And, unlike Bridger, he knows enough to not start cleaning the child up, too. Oh wait, Bridger knows but he just doesn’t care... ;)
On alert
In action – a dropped crumb.
I can hardly believe it but it looks like I might have another water baby on my hands. Last night when we were bathing Frankie he started to play in the tub, then today he went all out when Ella was playing with her tea set and water on the front porch. So much in fact that in no time they’d gone through the bucket of water and I was blowing up their pool! It is SO GOOD to see the little chap playing with his sister! And while not smiling a lot yet, the smiles are coming more and more ( may be a while before I capture them on camera though!).
I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that he’s loosening up so fast. Little miss social, happy Ella is just like party central. You just can’t help but join in the fun! He is truly one lucky little boy to have such a good big sister.
Although I didn't have internet (which I have at my house now, halleluia!), I started keeping a little journal when I first brought Frankie home. That happened the first four or five days but has petered out some but I thought I'd post them anyways. Just a little inside peak at what it's like to adopt a youngster and bring them home.
I already think that bringing home a two year old is ten times easier than a three year old, which most people just don’t understand. They always assume that the older the child the easier. Not so!! I have SO MUCH respect for folks that adopt four and older year olds. Wow! You guys are brave and much stronger than I!! I don’t think that I would adopt again over the age of three, if I could help it. But if you commit to a younger child and can’t get them until they’re older you really have no choice.
October 23rd - Brought the little feller home at around 11am. This was after leaving EBB at 7:30am, weaving our way through Kampala traffic (but avoiding the jam!), picking up Justine at the babies home, and then waiting at the probation officers for ten or so minutes until he came. Papers were signed, shuffled and sorted and we headed out from there at 9:45am when there was no traffic! Ella was fairly good but borderline. Justine made the apt observation, “Ella is quiet but stubborn!” Oh Justine, if only you knew! Ella can be quietly naughty/disrespectful and most people don’t notice – they just notice the “over reacting” mother!
Made it back to the babies home where we found little Frankie in big, dirty clothes, munching jack fruit. After a bath, lots of Vaseline and his new clothes (well, his shirt was a hand me down from his sister but it was BLUE!), we were on our way home! It hit me as I was buckling him into his car seat, “This is it Grace, you now have TWO little people that you are responsible for!” Wow. Sometimes I barely feel like an adult!
When we got home I tied Kayo and Sanyu up – when Bridger saw what I was up to he split. Frankie did awesome, only letting out a squawk when he was sitting on the couch by himself and Bridger wandered in and tried to lick him. Oops! Just being friendly! Bridge settled down and Frankie did to. Bridger wandered back outside and Frankie sat and sweated on my lap for about an hour.
I took off all his clothes but his diapers and gosh is he chunky! He’s built just like our neighbor, Hannah, and I’d say he is maybe as old as 24 months. But not much more. They say that he was just starting to talk (in Luganda).It’s estimated that he was around 15 months old when he came to the babies home and he’d been there nine months.
We plan on total English immersion for the little fellow. My linguist friends will probably frown but I want my family speaking all the same language. And lets face it, if I haven’t learned more Luganda in 4.5 years it’s highly doubtful that I’ll start now! Plus, my friends kids are monolingual in English (although I’m sure they understand at least some Luganda) and their parents are Ugandan (although not all Baganda), so we’ll be in good company.
After an hour of sitting and sweating on my lap, I plopped him on the floor with Ella, who was playing with her tea set, to make them lunch. I could hardly believe it when he started happily playing with her! Thank you God! This is such a huge thing to me because the first two weeks that Ella was home she would not play at all. Meaning that I couldn’t do anything without her – I could barely cook dinner! They played for over half an hour before we wrapped it up for them to eat lunch. I was also encouraged because Frankie is responding to Ella now, which she loves! She helped him wash his little hands and he is letting her. Not being snarky with her at all for which I am very grateful.Thank you God for such a good start!
The two ate their peanut and butter sandwiches and fruit together, then off to the bathroom to, um, take care of business before their naps. I got a little plastic potty for Frankie last week since I knew that hauling his 30 lb body on and off the toilet would kill my back in no time. I was hoping that he wouldn’t actually poop in it, but would save that for the big toilet but that didn’t really pan out. I was just glad that it wasn’t in his diapers! Ella LOVES the fact that she has company now when she’s in the bathroom taking care of business! A real “first” – pooping together ;)
After that it was into their beds. Ella’s on the top bunk (which she loves!) and little Frankster in the bottom, both under homemade quilts made by extended family. True to a babies home up bringing, little Frankie plopped his noggin down on that pillow (that his Granny embroidered the pillowcase for) and didn’t move. All you could see for a while when I kept checking him was his little eyes peaking over the blanket :). It didn’t take too long before they closed and he slept an hour and a half. Hopefully this keeps up. Ella screamed bloody murder at nap times for the first two weeks she was home.
After his nap he mainly snuggled on my lap while we sat outside on the porch watching Ella play. He’s still nervous of the dogs but doesn’t scream or cry anymore. He played on and off throughout the rest of the afternoon and after a bath (we washed his hair so he was smelling really nice!) he fell asleep on my lap while I was reading him and Ella some books. He was pretty whipped.
October 23rd Ella and I brought home a bouncing, 30 lb, baby boy to join our family! Franklin Francis is around 24 months old and a healthy, chunky little guy. Kinda cute too ;).
We adopted him from Nsambya Babies Home, where he’d lived for the last nine months. He seems to be settling in quite well despite all our crazy dogs. They (with the exception of Bridger) were tied up for the whole of ONE AND A HALF DAYS which thoroughly traumatized and almost killed them,so now they are all loose and little Frankie is being forced to cope. I even got chastised by a neighbor for tying his precious Kayo up!
Not a bad lookin’ couple of kids, if I say so myself ;) It’s all in the bloodlines I tell yah!
All in all, we are very happy to have little Frankie home. The process went smoothly and I will be blogging later about my great experience with Nsambya Babies Home. I brought him home exactly 53 days after we returned from the States – we’ve been busy!! I’m really glad that our days of driving to Kampala several times a week after work and on Saturdays to visit Frankie are over! And so is Ella.
We’ve been talking about adopting again for the last eight months, trying to get Ella prepared and pumped to share the spotlight. She kept repeating over and over on our furlough that she was going to get a little brother or sister and, “Help him wash his little hands, give him a bath, brush his teeth and put his Skin Dr Jelly on him!” It was to our great delight that she got to do all these things Friday night :)
This is the way we wash our little brothers hands,
give him a bath,
and play with him!
Like his sister, he is already a fan of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches too! I think the little guys gonna be an easy keeper :).
The following picture depicts how our life has been since getting home six weeks ago - on the go!
With the annual translation planning meetings the end of September and preparations for bringing a new family member home soon, we've really been on the run! The planning meetings went well and we're off to a good start for the year. Great headway is being made in bringing another little kiddo home, which requires many trips to and from Kampala.
Ella playing with our neighbor baby, James
The following pictures are of our neighbor,James, and his birthday party several weeks ago. He sort of got mobbed by all his little neighbor girls and he hardly even got to play with his new toys! The girls (especially mine!) just love a party!! Little Hannah is just too cute. She is fourteen months - only two months older than James.
Saturday Ella and I ventured into Kampala to see Harriet and, as always, we both had a great time. Her house is amazing! So different than when we last were there. It is actually quite spacious – bigger than it looks from the outside and about five or six times as big as her old place. Quite a bit bigger than my place, too.
It’s not totally finished of course as that can go on forever. It does have the electricity in and power hooked up, and the ceiling is almost all closed in. It’s going to look really nice! The floor isn’t done but it’s not dirt and the walls aren’t plastered yet but it’s still perfectly fine. SUCH an improvement from their last place (which they’d lived in for six years!).
Note the new roof and glassed in windows. Nice! And kind of cute, too.
What it looked like when we were there in April. Quite a difference!
Living area – it’s big!
Looking through the “kitchen” towards the sitting room
She doesn’t have running water yet but has some neighborhood boys haul it for her in jerrycans, where she keeps it in a small water barrel in her kitchen. Six jerrycans lasts her a week and they are only 200 UGS a piece (about $.11).
It’s amazing to think that all of this has been built from the proceeds of the necklaces that Harriet’s sent to the States. Her kids are also in better schools now, too, and doing really well. Jackie has amazing handwriting! So to any of you who have bought or helped sell beads, well done and Harriet sends her many thanks.
L enjoyed herself playing with Jackie and Jacob. She actually played more with Jacob this time, which is a first. He is nine years old and just a really nice, sweet boy. As he gets older he’s getting less shy and more outgoing.
He has a bike which the breaks don’t work on, which he likes to ride down the hill past the house. He drags his flip flopped feet along the ground to keep from going too fast, then turns into the neighbors yard to stop. L greatly enjoyed riding along in front of him, side saddle. It was so cute and surprisingly, no one bit the dust!
All ready to go!
Survivors :)
Jackie had a safer approach. A smaller “bike” and, true to Jackie fashion, someone to push her back up the road ;)
Down we go...
... and then sweet little Gift pushes you back up!
Gifts mom worked at the babies home when Ella was there. She had no idea that we would be there but walked into the living room and immediately recognized Ella. It was amazing that after two years and seeing Ella totally out of context, she recognized her so quickly. And I think Ella was at least familiar with her because she didn’t freak out when she was picked up and made over in Luganda. L’s a pretty outgoing kid but not that outgoing.
The kids enjoyed frolicking about outside and then Harriet was able to show me a short cut home through Zaana, which takes me clear around the nasty Kampala traffic. Took us through Natete, where we saw the burned police station from the riot last week. Harriet told a harrowing tale of her and Jacob getting out of Kampala during the riots. It was pretty nasty and I’m so glad that they all made it out safe.
Harriet fed us twice in a period of only six hours so we came home full as ticks! I must say, I missed Ugandan food while I was gone. It’s just normal stuff like chicken, rice, beef or potatoes but cooked up super nice. It’s good to be back and was great to see our friends again.
I've read of many different people's encounters living in Africa, or some other foreign country, and how there are always people (usually children) hanging around peaking through their walls watching them. Well, Ella has a bit of the same problem, especially when she's eating...
There is always someone watching!
Please note our "rustic" living conditions. TV in the background, remote on the table :) When the dogs start begging like this to watch movies, we'll know we're really in trouble!
Yesterday our neighbors came over to play. My what a jolly bunch of little girls! Now that baby Hannah can walk, she likes to get in on the action too. From the following pictures you can see what a trial it is to be the youngest child in a family and compound of little girls ;)
Friends and neighbors - hang on to that baby!
The Four Friends :)
Some serious jumping action which...
...stops for Hannah :)
Madeline and Hannah getting a ride in the wagon
Hannah pulling the wagon herself
Hannah taking a ride on the horse swing
We all love little Hannah! I had brought several different sizes of little crocs back with us in hopes that they would fit H child #2. The biggest pair fit Hannah perfectly so we know that they won't fit H child #2 as thier feet are way bigger than hers. So, Hannah inherited a pair of her own crocs which she loved stomping around in. We also went through L's old clothes and pulled out all the long pants and long sleeves as they are going to Maine next month for a 4 month furlough. Funny thing is, 5 year old Madeline can wear a lot of them too! So Ella's hand-me-downs will be going to a 5 year old and 14 month old. How crazy is that?!!!
I was able to get the two needed nuts and bolts yesterday to finish fixing Ella's red wagon so it's on the roll again! The needed hardware cost me only 800 UGS, about $.40! She's been busy getting rides in it (she likes for me to push her from behind and steer) and when I'm pooped, giving rides to her babies.
This child is just TOO MUCH! She learned to make a "goat face" while we were on furlough, from her Aunt Becky and Susan, so now whenever she sees the camera she puts on this hilarious face. And I laugh, which egs her on more.
I live and work in Uganda, East Africa with my daughter Ella, two dogs, Bridger and Sanyu, three Sudanese hedgehogs, Spike, Spronkie and Spokey, and a cat, Cody. I am originally from Bridger, Montana.
Frankie seemed to be engrossed with the puppies tail!
There's not much cuter than a kid and an adorable puppy!
Sanyu and the pup sleeping under the coffee table
